Unforgettable
by OccaisionalPen
Summary: An unusual but joyful call becomes even more unusual, as the night wears on.


A Call Not Forgotten

_As always, all things Emergency! aren't mine. In fact, other than the story, not much in here is mine….. Enjoy anyway!_

The location was awful for childbirth, Johnny thought as he looked around. A small place, dirty floor, kind of smelly, dark….

A scream interrupted and pulled his brown eyes back to the situation at hand, moving quickly toward a corner.

"Please," begged a disheveled, bearded man with long blond hippy hair who was wearing a…robe? "Please, you've got to help her."

Johnny went to work. "Of course. How long has she been like this?"

The man looked at him disbelievingly. "Nine months."

"No, no, not pregnant. In labor, and with contractions this close together."

The blond hair moved just a little as he shrugged, obviously bored. "Long enough."

A sigh came from deep inside Johnny as he took the woman's hand and discretely checked her pulse. "Ma'am? Ma'am? I'm going to have to examine you, ok? To check and see if the baby is ready to come, and to see if there are any problems."

The sweat was pouring down the mother-to-be's face, and she nodded slightly.

Before Johnny moved closer, he turned and called over his shoulder. "Roy? Hey, Roy! Where're you at? I need the kit, the biophone, some gloves, some lube, and a witness. Roy!"

There was a stirring beyond the shadows, and in walked Roy, Cap, and Dr. Brackett. For some reason, Cap was leading a sorry-looking donkey that was sagging a bit under the heavy pack on it's back.

"Oh, great, Doc! I'm glad you're here. You take over. What can we do to assist? Roy, where's the gear? Where's the drug box? Did you bring the sterile sheets?"

Roy regally offered two bags of suspicious looking herbs without saying a word.

"That's it?" Johnny asked in astonishment. Roy nodded.

Johnny glanced at the donkey. "Surely there's something else that we can…." His voice faltered when Cap reached into the pack and ceremoniously removed a toy drum. "…can use?"

Roy, Cap, and Dr Brackett shook their heads, solemnly holding two bags of herbs, the reins on the donkey, and the toy drum, respectively.

"Sheesh, man, you mean we forgot to restock? And this is all we have?" Johnny ran his hand through his hair, and the trio nodded.

"OK, then, I guess that'll be it. Doc, can you make do? Doc?" Johnny looked to where Dr Brackett was…..well, had been…..standing.

No Brackett. Or Roy or Cap, for that matter. Instead, next to the sad little donkey, there was a scruffy kid playing away on the toy drum. _Tap tap tap, ratta-tat-tat, paa rum-pum pum, pum. _

Johnny shook his head and muttered to himself. "This is getting weirder and weirder. In fact, I'm outta here. Where did everyone go?"

He stood up and walked outside. Unfortunately, hundreds of sheep and a few dozen oxen blocked the way forward. In fact, it looked like the animals were nodding in time with the drumming, some even stamping their feet.

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum. Stamp stamp-stamp stamp, stamp._

Johnny blinked his eyes a few times; surely, he was imaging things.

On the other side of the animals were a few shady characters (who looked suspiciously like Marco, Chet, and Mike carrying halligan bars). No, they're shepherds, and they're carrying crooks, Johnny thought, and it really doesn't matter because they're too far away to be useful and there's no sign of the squad or engine, anyway.

Just as he was contemplating how to finagle his way through the sheep, and maybe call for a taxi, the woman screamed again (drowning out the non-stop paa rum-pum pum, pum, thankfully), and before he realized he had moved, he was at her side one more time.

The donkey nodded approvingly.

"Right," he said to the woman after a mind-boggling pause. "Let's examine you and see what we're dealing with." His eyes met hers, and she nodded once more.

"OK. First, I'm going to slide your skirt up. I'll keep you as covered as I can, ma'am. Then, I'm going to….." Johnny was carefully shifting her skirt while he was speaking when the blond man grabbed him and (none too gently) jerked him away.

"Ow! Hey, cut that out!"

The blond man let go, but stood protectively between Johnny and the woman.

"You can not do that to MY wife! You cannot see her or touch her! She is a virgin!"

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum, paa rum-pum pum, pum._

Johnny just stared at him in disbelief. "You're joking, right? A virgin?"

"She is a virgin," the man calmly stated.

Even the donkey looked skeptical.

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum._

"O…K… Well. Are you the father?" Johnny asked.

"Of course not," the man looked at him in astonishment. "Listen, dude, if I need to get a woman with child, I need to do it in the usual way. Getting a virgin knocked up is outta my league, if you know what I mean."

Johnny muttered to himself, "I'm not sure I know what anything means right now. But I know that drum has got to go. I'm getting a headache of massive proportions, here."

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum._

The woman screamed again while the two men just stared at each other, then at her, and then at each other again. The donkey chewed on some moldy hay.

"Now would be a good time to explain about the paramedic program and your training, John," Dr Brackett advised, suddenly standing behind the father. Err, husband. "Explain to him the risks of an unattended difficult birth, and that the baby might die."

John just shook his head as if to clear it, and sure enough, Brackett disappeared. Although, John thought, his advice was wise. "So, uhm, Mr…..?"

"Joseph. Just Joseph."

"Mr. Joseph. You know, it could be…."

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum._

"IF YOU TWO IDIOTS DON'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS KID RIGHT NOW, I WILL GET UP AND KILL BOTH OF YOU! AND THAT DRUMMER BOY! AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!"

"…..it could be…."

"Dangerous," Joseph interrupted. "For us. And the baby. Mary can be very difficult when she gets in a mood."

Even though Johnny agreed with her about the drummer boy, he thought it wise to remain silent on that topic and take advantage of Joseph's changed perspective. So he simply replied, "Yep. Exactly. So what do you say, Joseph?"

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum._

The two men turned as one and went back to work. Joseph calmly held the lantern while Johnny did his best and most chaste examination.

"Actually, there is nothing wrong; and it won't be long now. The baby is crowning."

"Crowning?" the startled mother asked. Everything stopped: the contractions, the donkey's munching, and even the drum. "This baby isn't supposed to be crowned for about twenty years, and it happens right before he dies. How can he be crowned before he's born?"

"It means that….." Johnny paused, exasperated. "Well, it's just an expression. It means the baby will be born in another good push or two. So let's get on with it. That drum is really getting to me. By the way, do you have any aspirin?"

The mother shook her head in the negative while she resumed pushing. The donkey relaxed and resumed eating, and the drum once again took up it's beat.

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum._

And five minutes later, Mary held her new son close to her bosom while Johnny held smelling salts under Joseph's nose. The donkey brayed, the sheep baa'd, the shepherds cheered, the onlookers passed out cigars and copies of the New Testament, the drum reached a crescendo, and the morning tones blared through the station.

Johnny jerked awake with a start and fell out of his bed, landing on top of Roy's turnouts.

"Easy there, Junior," Roy said, "there's no fire, it's just morning tones. Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Christmas?" Johnny stopped trying to untangle the suspenders from his neck. "It's Christmas today?"

"Yep, all day." Roy laughed. "For YOU to forget it's Christmas, you must REALLY have been somewhere else! Hard to imagine that you could even sleep, you were so excited after successfully delivering that baby last night."

In the background, a Christmas carol played softly:

_I am a poor boy too, pa rum-pum pum pum _

_I have no gift to bring, pa-rum pum pum pum_

Johnny lay back onto Roy's boots and closed his eyes, listening to the carol for a moment. "You have no idea, Roy, absolutely no idea…"

_Paa rum-pum pum, pum, rum-pum pum, pum, rum-pum pum, pum._

His achy head was keeping good time with the carol. "You wouldn't happen to have any aspirin handy, would you?"

~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~

_Have at it, folks – how about other Christmas carol themed fics?_


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